As I’m approaching my 30th birthday I’m mixed with emotions. Where the f did the time go!? I was having a conversation with my older sister the other day on how I wasn’t sure I was ready to be 30, I’m not mature enough, and I feel like I should be turning 22. She said, ” I know, but think about the person you were at 22…your not the same girl”. As per usual, my brilliant sister is right (shocker). Not that I was a bad person at 22, I was just different. Lessons have not been learned and I was in a totally different space. At 22 my biggest problem was getting to work on time and where I was going out that night…Oh and what Chanel bag I was saving for. My twenties have truly been a blast. I have had some of my best moments, many scary moments and tons of heartbreak with guys. It was all worth it because it made me who I am today, happy and healthy, both physically and mentally. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t change a thing, to me that means I did it right.
Things I would tell my younger self:
1. Your doing a great job at having fun. Keep it up because when you hit 28 your not going to be able to keep your eyes open past 11pm or have 10 Red Bull vodkas and be able to get out of bed the next day.
2. Your doing a fantastic job at never settling in life, whether it be with guys friendships or jobs. You know your worth and keep on trucking.
3. You will understand at a young age the importance of your health and that without it you have nothing. Never take it for granted and take care of yourself. Oh and where SPF!!!
4. Life is short eat the cookie.
5. You will thank all the boys who gave you heartache in your life, every tear you shed, every awful thing that came your way. All the bullshit you had to deal with from the stupid dating websites you were on, all the lies and all the creeps. All of these boys are not for you, that’s why they have to be so mean, because if they loved you back like you loved them, you would have never met Steve and you would have never had a chance to truly find yourself, alone, in Bali away from everything and everyone. Steve is going to come don’t worry and you will be happier then you thought you ever could be. It’s the real deal. He’s literally a real life prince who will make you feel adored every day and treat you like the princess you really are. He will arrive on a shiny boat called the Pinapple Express and cook you all these fabulous meals and make you laugh until you cry, not cry until you laugh. He will bring you pizza and wine and books and hand made cards, he will smell nice and take you to Christmas Tree Shop because he knows you love trinkets. He will love you like he’s never loved before and it will show. His actions will match up with his words.
6. You will want kids one day because this little munchkin Elle is going to come into this world and flip your life upside down. People will tell you she’s your niece but she’s really connected to your soul and you feel as if she’s yours. You may even tell strangers when you two are out for your walks the first 6 months of her life that yea she’s yours… and that’s ok! You will feel a love and bond so tight, you will just want to be with her night and day. She comes first! You will be crazy auntie CC one day and it will be one of the most important roles of your life. You will doubt if you could ever love your own child like Elle, people say you will but You find it doubtful, but at least it will make you finally want kids of your own. We’ll see!
7. You will realize that your quality of life is more important then any BMW or Chanel bag. You will actually sell some of your collection to fit the bill for some of your travel adventures. This fashion career is not for you, sorry your just not one of them. Your not a quitter but quit this one sooner rather then later. Your going to have a career where you help people. You will finally feel fulfilled with the job you do, but only if you take the risk of leaving the one you hate and starting over. Your never to old to start over. You will realize that you want to live a life of passion. Work to live not live to work. Forget societies way of life and make your own rule book. Who says you need a job with benefits or a 401k or be married with kids at 30? Take your sweet time. Work hard and do what you have to do to pay your bills, be responsible and live your life. Never ever do something for money, do it for passion and you’ll see how happy you will be.
8. You will loose some friendships but that’s ok. Sometimes people grow apart but you will always honor all the good times you had with those people. Sometimes people are not meant to stay in your life forever, sometimes they are just meant to get you though moments. You will though remain friends with most, and these people will be so good to you and you guys will always have the best times ever. You will support each other through thick and thin and embrace changes in life together.
9. It’s ok to be super attached to your family and want to live with mom forever. If anyone judges you they are just jealous your moms the coolest! 😉
10. Your truly going to learn so much about yourself and what you can do. In the beginning of your twenties you were full of the phrases “oh I could never do that” but by the end of your twenties your going to be saying “well if I survived the bugs in Bali I can do anything in life.” Your going to travel all over the world and majorly push yourself too your limits and set new limits and overcome fear over and over again. Your going to embrace the challenge of life and appreciate it’s beauty. Your going to have friends from all over the world and have experiences most will never get to experience in their lifetime.
Lastly, don’t worry hunny bunny, life is gonna be gravy. Every time you think you are being rejected from something good you are just being redirected to something better. To everything I have ever lost…thank you for setting me free.