Today was the start to one of my many “new beginnings”.
Funny how the universe works. Recently I was down and out looking for a career that is stable which can supply benefits. Well without a degree it’s slim to none. The only degree I have is in fashion and I am NOT going back to that!
My boyfriend and I were out on the boat recently and I received a spontaneous phone call from my friend to meet up with them at Tices, a place on the bay where boats tie up and hang. While there, my one friend asked “so what is it that you want to do.” I stated that I would love to just teach yoga because I love to help people but it does not pay enough and there are no benefits. She suggested the field of Physical Therapy, helping those recover from injuries. Ding Ding Ding! A light went off. Why have I not thought of this before? I get to help people and the pay/benefits are great! Perfect, I am going to be a Physical Therapy Assistant. So, two weeks and a placement test later (yes I literally did this last minute) my 30 year butt walked into my first round of classes.
I must say this was exciting yet scary at the same time. First off, I have not been to school in forever. The college I went to out of high school was a fashion school. Obviously none of my previous credits consisting of “history of polka dots” transferred so I am literally starting from scratch.
I had a few mental breakdowns not going to lie. Long talks with family, friends, students, and my man…gave me the courage to put one foot in front of the other and just do it. The last week, I put my self through torture with the stupidest fears that I created in my own head.
Can I do it? OMG Im going to be the oldest person in class. Im totally going to look like a loser. Ugh people at 34 have babies and homes and ill be sitting here broke and just getting out of school. God this shit is expensive…bye bye savings. I always was the worst in math there is no way I am going to be able to do COLLEGE LEVEL MATH. OMG I forget how to do fractions?! Shit. What if I can’t pass? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE. People take notes with their laptops? OMG Do I have to bring mine? Can’t I just use a good old fashion notebook? I can’t take notes on my laptop ill be too distracted! Will I be labeled the oldie by taking notes in a notebook? Since when were laptops allowed in classrooms. Am I going to be able to understand? Ugh my spelling is horrible. Will I be able to find the class room? I missed the target sale on school supplies. JESUS CHRIST.
I am a firm believer of positive thoughts and the power of intentions. I always practice what I preach, but for some reason I could not help myself and let my fears that I created get the best of me with these super silly thoughts.
AGAIN, Funny how the universe works. In my first class today I met my English Teacher who I am now obsessed with. She shared her inspiring story with us on how she went to college late in life worked hard and is now a professor. She reiterated to me that ” you’re never too old to start”. Duh! Thats my life motto! All fears aside now, and a laugh or too later I am super excited for this journey and all that is to come 🙂
Thank you to my support group for always cheering me on during all of my “new” endeavors and being the voice of reason. Sometimes y’all talk me off a ledge. Love ya long time.
Always remember you’re not a mess, you’re brave for trying. Even though you may not be quite ready for change be brave. The universe always rewards the brave. Never let your fear decide your future. If I were to listen to my fears I would have never started this journey or have all the amazing experiences I have been able to have in my life so far.
P.S no one was taking notes with a laptop.