Be BRAVE with your life…

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Today was the start to one of my many “new beginnings”.

Funny how the universe works.  Recently I was down and out looking for a career that is stable which can supply benefits. Well without a degree it’s slim to none. The only degree I have is in fashion and I am NOT going back to that!

My boyfriend and I were out on the boat recently and I received a spontaneous phone call from my friend to meet up with them at Tices, a place on the bay where boats tie up and hang. While there, my one friend asked “so what is it that you want to do.” I stated that I would love to just teach yoga because I love to help people but it does not pay enough and there are no benefits. She suggested the field of Physical Therapy, helping those recover from injuries. Ding Ding Ding! A light went off.  Why have I not thought of this before? I get to help people and the pay/benefits are great! Perfect, I am going to be a Physical Therapy Assistant. So, two weeks and a placement test later (yes I literally did this last minute) my 30 year butt walked into my first round of classes.

I must say this was exciting yet scary at the same time. First off, I have not been to school in forever. The college I went to out of high school was a fashion school. Obviously none of my previous credits consisting of “history of polka dots” transferred so I am literally starting from scratch.

I had a few mental breakdowns not going to lie. Long talks with family, friends, students, and my man…gave me the courage to put one foot in front of the other and just do it. The last week, I put my self through torture with the stupidest fears that I created in my own head.

Can I do it? OMG Im going to be the oldest person in class. Im totally going to look like a loser. Ugh people at 34 have babies and homes and ill be sitting here broke and just getting out of school. God this shit is expensive…bye bye savings. I always was the worst in math there is no way I am going to be able to do COLLEGE LEVEL MATH. OMG I forget how to do fractions?! Shit. What if I can’t pass? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE. People take notes with their laptops? OMG Do I have to bring mine? Can’t I just use a good old fashion notebook? I can’t take notes on my laptop ill be too distracted! Will I be labeled the oldie by taking notes in a notebook? Since when were laptops allowed in classrooms. Am I going to be able to understand? Ugh my spelling is horrible. Will I be able to find the class room? I missed the target sale on school supplies.  JESUS CHRIST. 

I am a firm believer of positive thoughts and the power of intentions. I always practice what I preach, but for some reason I could not help myself and let my fears that I created get the best of me with these super silly thoughts.

AGAIN, Funny how the universe works.  In my first class today I met my English Teacher who I am now obsessed with. She shared her inspiring story with us on how she went to college late in life worked hard and is now a professor. She reiterated to me that ” you’re never too old to start”. Duh! Thats my life motto! All fears aside now, and a laugh or too later I am super excited for this journey and all that is to come 🙂

Thank you to my support group for always cheering me on during all of my “new” endeavors and being the voice of reason. Sometimes y’all talk me off a ledge. Love ya long time.

Always remember you’re not a mess, you’re brave for trying. Even though you may not be quite ready for change be brave. The universe always rewards the brave. Never let your fear decide your future. If I were to listen to my fears I would have never started this journey or have all the amazing experiences I have been able to have in my life so far.

P.S no one was taking notes with a laptop.

XOXO

CC

5 things Yoga has taught me:

 

  1. Honor your body: This is one that I am most proud of. Our society seems to be obsessed with achieving the perfect body….But what is the perfect body? It is a personal preference and everyone is entitled to their opinion. I’ll tell you what my idea of a perfect body is…a healthy and happy one.  I have stretch marks on my hips, a little bit of cellulite, a mini roll (that I’m saving for later…get it)? when I sit and scars all over my body from my invasive Melanoma which left me scared not only physically but mentally as well. No, I do not have a six pack, perfectly perfect skin or huge boobs……BUT I can tell you what I do have.
  • Two eyes that have seen some of the most amazing sunrises and sunsets all over the world
  • Two arms that are able to wrap around all my loved ones giving them the biggest cuddles
  • Two legs that have taken me to some of the most amazing places all over the world and walked out of fears path
  • Wrinkles forming around my eyes showing off all the laughing, smiling and sunshine I have gotten over the years
  • Oh and a nice booty that is nice and full to support my sitting in a lounge chair eating and sipping cocktails in the summer all day habit 😉

So what if I don’t have abs? I enjoy food WAY to much to ever say “I can’t have that”. My hearty appetite has led me to eat all different kinds of food all around the world which plays a huge part in experiencing other cultures and have gained friends from all around the world because of it. So what I have scars? They show your strength and add character. So what if I have a dimple here or there…I embrace my curves. I do not see these things as imperfections. This is real. This is me. If you don’t like don’t look. At the end of the day my point is this, I want to live in a healthy body and have happiness pouring out from my roll (insert crying laughing emoji) How we feel about our bodies is an inside job. Yes, it helps that a special someone has come into my life and reminds me every single day that I am the most beautiful sexy person ever but I felt confident and secure before him. People can come and go in your life but how you view yourself is all that matters. No one can take that from you. Use your body to its fullest potential and stop focusing on what it looks like.

2.  Let go of things that no longer serve you: It’s just as simple as that. It’s not easy to let go, but it is much more painful to try and hold on to something that wants to pass. I accepted that I no longer was meant to be a fashion publicist. The change and adjustment was hard but I honor the moments I was in it and look forward to the future. This also goes for our relationships. Sometimes we are not meant to be friends with every person that has touched our lives forever and for always. Embrace the good moments you have had and lightly let them go. No need to be mead when doing so. At the end of the day, do what makes you happy and never dwell on the past. Trust the universe. Everything happens for a reason. I know this for a FACT!

3. Breathe: Before you respond to anger, hurt, sadness….breathe. Is it really what you want to say? How do you really feel?  Our words have a way of staying with people so never try and say something just to hurt someones feelings just because we are hurting inside. When you are facing fear in the face….breathe. All will be ok in the end. When your stressed and having a bad day….breathe, someone else is having a worse day then you. When you get a delicious meal….breathe….for you know in a few moments when you devour it you will have to open your button on your jeans….or is that just me? Our breath is very important. It helps calm the mind and keep us sane.

4. Be present…and ok with it: Sometimes in life, we can get so caught up in it that we forget what we have in front of us. Never dwell on the past, it is what it is and you can only learn from it and move on. Every experience we have good and bad is meant to teach us something. No one is perfect…NO ONE. (except for boo boo ba ba head…my niece) Don’t worry too much about the future, it is not here yet so you don’t know what your cards will be. Focus on now. How you feel, how you love and what your grateful for, because things can change at a drop of a dime.

5. You can achieve more than you think: This is another big one. In the last 4 years I have overcome so many fears its kind of insane. Yes I am known to hop on a flight at any given moment and am a world traveler. Yessss. BUT I was super afraid of planes and still am!! Like super super! When I was sick I looked back and said to myself, what have you done with your life? What have you achieved? A ton of designer things didn’t count….Didn’t make me feel good. I promised myself then and there that if I can overcome this I WILL 100% live life 100% of the time. Money, time, a person or FEAR will not hold me back. I want to see places people read about but never visit. And the glorious thing is I have and then some! Experience is far more valuable then money ever will be. Another fear….bugs. All my Bali peeps can attest to this. But I managed to sleep and live with bugs the size of house pets and came out of it just fine….kinda. What I am trying to say is we can do whatever we really want to do. Just breathe and move through it one step at a time. What’s the worst thats going to happen? Like I say to my students every class…”I am powerful, I am strong and I am loved”.

xoxo

CC